how to annoy the naruto cast
by Sakura Sama 101
Summary: well this is a story that my friend wrote, i'm just posting it for her. lets just hope that fanfiction doesn't delete it. i also added a few things so please read and review!
1. Jiraiya

_Hey all. I'm making another story that me and my friend leslie wrote, (if she had a computer she'd have done this herself.) lets just hope that doesn't delete it. (I added a few as well)_

_Warnings: I am not responcible for any injuries that you get by attempting any of these._

_Disclaimer: I do not own naruto. _

How to annoy Jiraya.

1) On all his clothes embroider 'Pervy Sage.'

2) Tell all women in Konoha about him and to watch out for him.

3) Tell him he's going to a strip club and conveniently forget to tell him it's for gay men.

4) 2 words "male stripper"

5) 2 words "sex change."

6)Say to him "I watched the tape last night and I still can't believe that you done that to orochimaru." When he asks what the hell are you talking about say "you'll find out soon enough." Then walk away. And find the tape you made super imposing their heads in a love scene.

7) Tell Naruto to stop doing Sexy no jutsu in front of him.

8) Say Kakashi and Gai want to take him to the hotsprings for other reasons.

9) Tell him his teammate of late had a thing for him and always has.

10) Give him a restraining order that he can not be within 5 meters of any woman on earth.

11)Steal his money

12)Don't let him have Sake.

13)Tell him that you just made your own version of Icha Icha paradise

14)Sick a drunk Tsunade on him saying that he called her old.

15)Tell Sakura that he's become her stalker (videotape the results.)

16)Also tell Sakura that he's been peeping at her when she goes to the Hot Springs.

17)Tell ino, hinata, tenten, Temari that he does the same things to them

18)Bring Haku back to life and trick Jiraya that he's a girl, or see if he can figure out Haku's gender.

19)Ask him if he uses herbal essences.

20)If you catch him shirtless scream "EEEWWW!! OLD MAN BOOBS!"

21)Send him to sex-a-holics anonymous.

22)Ditch naruto with Jiraya for 2 years

23)Cut his hair, dye it pink and say he's copying Sakura's look.

24)Ask him if he's going to "croak" soon and see if he gets the pun.

25)Ask him if he's ever had frogs legs.

26)Fry up Gamabunta and trick Jiraya to eat it.

27)Tell him afterwards.

28)Show him a picture of Marylin Manson and after tell him he's a guy.

29)Ask him if he's a child sex offender. If he says no say he is one and if he says yes….then run away really really fast…

30) steal his big scroll

_Well that's all for now…we also have a how to annoy orochimaru thing coming along but I don't know if I'll add it as another chapter or if I'll do it separate as a one shot. Well leave lots of reviews for me and leslie! Buhbye for now!_

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	2. Orochimaru

_Chapter 2 of how to annoy the Naruto characters. This time it's orochimaru. Please leave lots of reviews for Leslie and me. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

How to annoy Orochimaru.

Take away his subordinates (Kin Dosu Zaku and all them) AKA: playthings.

When he goes to have a bath or something dump a whole bottle of PINK dye or food colouring (either) into the water and fill his shampoo with Neon Green dye and when he comes out do these things.

Stare

Point

Laugh

And say "hey everyone! The circus must be in town cause I see a clown!

Or say "dude you're so copying big fat liar."

cut his tongue to normal size.

Give him a Mohawk. Either way is fine. (I wanna see Orochimaru have a reverse Mohawk.)

Paint his nails funky colours.

Tell him Kabuto's straight.

Force him to wear a bikini then take pictures for future use.

Tell him Kabuto is your boyfriend and he can't have him

Say Sasuke's body is yours as well and that you won't share.

Make him meet Micheal Jackson (warning: he might enjoy it and become friends)

Get him a boyfriend (warning: he might like it)

Get him a girlfriend (warning he might kill you)

Tell him he has a poor taste in the bodies he uses for his jutsus…mainly the grass-nin and say the last one looked like micheal Jackson.

If Haku's still alive then get Orochimaru to go out with him

Steal Tayuya's (sp?) flute and tell her Kabuto and Orochimaru were borrowing it and mention something about a remake of American wedding and be sure to videotape the results.

Feed him snake

Sign him to a gay club.

Ask him why he needs such thick ropes to keep his kimono up. (is he really so fat?)

Tell everyone he's gay.

Place a hidden camera in Orochimaru's room and if you tape something really good then show his teammates and mail one to Itachi.

Ask him if he has a cousin named voldemort.

Get a life sized picture of Itachi's head and place it above orochimaru when he sleeps (if he sleeps. Think about that…) and when he wakes be sure to hear screaming.

_Well that ends that…please review…next up is Itachi if this doesn't get deleted first. Please review or you'll make a good writer loose confidence in herself. _


	3. Itachi

_Well here is the third chapter…this time I'll make sure the numbers come on (stupid well here's our how to annoy Itachi list. Be sure to review_

_Disclaimer: don't own Naruto or some of these things on the list they're Leslie's. _

1) Go up to him when all the Akatsuki are around, give him a box of tampons and say "you forgot this ma'am." Then run before he kills you.

2) Tell him if he gets dreadlocks, grows out a beard, gets a pirate hat and a ship he'd look just like Jack Sparrow.

3) Cut off his ponytail, put it in Kisame's hands and say he did it.

4)Tie-dye his Akatsuki uniform (make sure that it's really bad matching colours like pink and green or brown and purple…)

5)Read him ItaxSasu fanfiction to the Akatsuki and say he really wrote it. (or if you have the "it's the most uchihaest thing" comic hand it out to all of them)

6)Call him "miss Itachi"

7)Put blue dye in his bath water and when he comes out yell "Hey Kisame! Its your long lost cousin!"

8)Put a tack in his chair (never gets old)

9)Or glue…whatever floats your boat.

10)Say Orochimaru and Kisame have a thing for him

11)When he's asleep get a baseball bat and hit him in the nuts.

12)Get some couple hundred fire works, light them and fire them at him…

13)Or if he threatens you with the fireball jutsu dare him to do it but be standing near the fireworks.

14)Get an air horn sneak up on him and blow it.

15)Paint his room Pink

16)2 words gay people (Gai sensei will do just nicely, be sure to smuggle him into his room)

17)Ask him if he has weed in his cloak

18)Ask him if he's wearing anything under it

19)Find baby pictures

20)Call him a Pyromaniac repeatedly

21)When he takes a bath steal his clothes and replace with a bikini. Take pictures then release the fangirls.

22)Send Bikini pic to Orochimaru and Sasuke MERRY CHRISTMAS!

23)Whenever he walks into a room splash him with holy water, get a bible and yell "the power of Christ compels you!" hold out a crucifix, throw garlic at him or hold a mirror infront of him.

24)Ask him if the bags under his eyes are genetic if he says no call him a vampire

25)Tell Deidara Itachi stole his sugar

26)Tell Kazuku Itachi stole his money

27)Tell Hidan that Itachi confiscated his religious stuff because he's a vampire

28)Tell him Sasuke's gay with Naruto

29)Kisame stole Naruto and refuses to give him over. The leader and Kisame want him for other reasons.

30)Tell Sasori Itachi stole his puppet for other reasons (be sure to use the finger quotes)

31)Tell Itachi Kisame stole a picture of his mom and you saw him and was jacking off to the picture. Videotape Itachi's reaction.

32)Tell Itachi that Kisame has a shrine of his mother in his closet and has a picture of his mom's face on a sex toy.

_Well that ends this chapter, I'll have to get in contact with Leslie for who she wants to do next…I'll have to mention everyones awesome ideas and we'll have it up ASAP if it isn't deleted. Be sure to review for an aspiring authoress wants to be recognised. Don't let her down! _


	4. Kisame

_Well here's a new chapter, thanks for all the reviews! I showed them to Leslie and you should have seen her face light up! Well she's gotten a lot set up…I just have to add my own personal touches but here's our how to annoy Kisame list._

How to annoy Kisame.

1)Trick him into getting a spray on tan (he'd probably either look more human or turn really dark blue…)

2)Keep blasting the song "I'm blue" by Eiffel 65. when he gets mad say it's his theme song.

3)Take his sword and sell it on E-bay

4)Get your friends to put on blue paint and when he asks why their blue say it's his family reunion

5)Eat fish in front of him

6)Take his sword and pluck each of the scales off and see if there's an actual sword underneath or a stick underneath

7)Bring him to a sushi restaurant

8)Tranquilize him and put him in sea world

9)When he eats or enters a room sing the Jaws theme

10)Tell him that orochimaru and gai eat fish for breakfast lunch and dinner and that they pretend they are eating them

11)Call him captain planet

12)Ask him if he knows Shamu

13)Ask him if he uses blue dye in his shampoo and bodywash

14)Call him blueberry

15)Put a shrine of Mikoto in Kisame's room and tell Itachi. (works in conjunction to how to annoy Itachi)

16)Get Itachi a harpoon gun and tell him to use it on Kisame if he annoys him

17)Tell Kisame that he came from Planet asparagus (me and leslie's inside joke but this is how it goes. If we find someone really weird or is a big asshole we say they came from planet asparagus.)

18)Tell Gai to come over cause Kisame has been having "unyouthful" thoughts.

19)Say "YOSH!" as much as you can near him

20)Tell him Gai told you what happened between him and his mom at a christmas party 23 years ago **wink wink** (this one probably doesn't make sense cause I thought Gai was about 35 when I wrote this one….but anyway it made us laugh)

21)After you get out of the hospital tell him "if you haven't figured it out Gai is your father."

22)After you get out of the hospital again arrange a father/son reunion.

23)After you pick the scales out of your ass and recover from many broken bones tell him Lee's his long lost youthful younger brother (twice removed)

24)After you've died continue to haunt him. Do something like moaning myrtle and haunt his bathtub

25)If for some great stroke of fate you survived ask him if you can use Samehada to shave your legs. (wearing those casts make legs really hairy)

_Well that ends this chapter and we've got how to annoy Tsunade, Gaara and Kakashi lists going but they are still incomplete but the next one should be put up sometime next week, don't forget to review!_


	5. Gaara

_Well you can all kill me if ya want…I definitely didn't meet my deadline…for a multitude of reasons…1. Leslie handed me incomplete lists that I had absolutely no time to finish…3 of them to be exact…well Tsunade was alright because she knows little to none about her. 2. I was more focused about my other stories, this one is for when I have spare time. 3. when I did get time to work on this one…no ideas came. There are my pathetic excuses. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto_

How to annoy Gaara

1)Throw his gourd into a volcano

2)Say Lee has a crush on him

3)Kill the Kazekage before he does

4)Call him the following names

-Panda boy

-Racoon boy

-Horny racoon boy

-Mr. Sandman

5)Sing a very annoying song like "this is the song that never ends"

6)Play L.O.V.E by ashlee simpson. When he tells you to shut up or he'll kill you suggest it as one of his theme songs.

7)Keep telling him that he wears makeup and when he says its insomnia say "sure it is.

8)Tell Lee's fangirls (if he has any) that Gaara is trying to hook up with him and watch as they kill Gaara.

9)Ask Gaara why he doesn't have eyebrows, when he says "Lee stole them to make his bigger demand Lee to give his eyebrows back (if he does give them to you run away and scream "EYE BROW EATER!")

10)Tell him that you're the one who suggested that the demon should be put inside him.

11)Put weird and insane messages on his gourd like "I worship sandcest!" or "I like eggs."

12)Send them family counselling (or just Kankuro and Gaara but Temari adds a nice touch of violence) broadcast the sessions on TV (Make sure Gai is the councillor)

13)Steal his teddy bear and cut it up then dispense the pieces among his fangirls.

14)Ask him if his hair colour is natural or if he soaked his hair in the blood of his victims.

15)Claim that his love tattoo is a temporary one

16)Demand that Mr. Sandman be his theme song and sing it wherever he goes

17)Call Gaara Ronald McDonald (a reviewer told me this one thanks for telling me!)

18)Call him the walking talking elmo

19)Ask if he's goth and does devil worship

20)Ask if he's emo and cuts, spread the rumour around

21)Ask if he's a stalker or if he knows he has many (beats Leslie away with a wooden plank "DOWN GIRL DOWN!!")

22)Put flaming poo on his doorstep

23)Get Temari to cook something for him (according to many temari is a bad cook)

24)Steal his cookie stash

25)Wave a cookie in front of his face

26)Make a sand castle with his sand and when he summons it back begin to cry saying how you worked so hard on it (in reality it's a deformed looking block with a stick sticking out.)

27)Get Kankuro to chase him around in boxers

28)Get Kankuro to make a voodoo doll of Gaara and poke it and watch with joy at Gaara's displeasure and later suffer from his wrath

29)Steal his gourd

30)Call him an emo who luvs eyeliner

31)Tell him that he should have got a better tattoo like Hate or agony or something evil…like pink bunny rabbits

_That ends this chappie!! And if this doesn't get deleted it's Kakashi sensei next and then Tsunade and Dark Darriana Minamino (sorry if I spelt it wrong) I will definitely use some of the ones you sent me…I just need to get Leslie's list first then I'll add yours and mine. don't forget to review…that little button wants to be pressed…push it please? _

_Sakura Sama 101 (you can tell I just had a pop right?) _


	6. Kakashi

_Sorry about the long update……I've been busy, but I had some spare time and worked on this._

_Disclaimer: Me and Leslie do not own Naruto…speaking of which it is her birthday this weekend. _

_How to annoy Kakashi_

1 )Play "I will survive" over the intercom

2) Take away all of his Make out paradise books.

3) Send him to porn addiction anonymous.

4) Tell him that the reason why he has silver hair is because he's extremely old.

5) Dye his hair brown

6) Glue his mask on so he can't take it off to eat

7) Tell the Hokage that he is too old to be teaching anymore and make him retire

8) Tell him that Guy has a surprise for him at the hotsprings (tell him he also has to put on a speedo.)

9) Hot glue his Sharingan eye shut

10) Put him in an asylum.

11) Ask him at awkward times what's under his mask

12) Tail him constantly to find out why he's late

13) When you find him at the monument cooe "Aww! That's so sweet!" and hug him as hard as you can.

14) Tell Gai that Kakashi has wanted to have another competition.

15) Call him Kaka-chan

16) Tell Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto to be late for team 7's meetings and try to get Kakashi to come on time if not at least earlier then usual.

17) Claim that Kakashi has a lazy eye and that's why it's always covered

18) Call him Chewbacca

19) Doodlie in his make out paradise

20) Cut his hair Gai sensei style as he's sleeping

21) Say "Yosh" at really weird times.

22) Tell everyone he's a marriage/sex councillor

23) Ask if he and Iruka teach sex ed and do demonstrations at the academy

24) Ask if he likes Iruka

25) Put him on a blind date with Iruka

26) Claim his sharingan eye is a contact and that he lost the other one

27) Call him a vampire

28) Ask him if he knows Shigure Sohma

29) Buy shigure's books and as he reads them tell spoil the ending for him.

30) Use his excuses for tardyness on him when you're late. (from Lord Lazy pants)

_That ends my how to annoy Kakashi list, next is Tsunade-hime and then...Deidara, he aughta be fun... don't forget to review! Thankyou! _

Sakura Sama 101 signing off.


	7. Tsunade

_I'm so very sorry that I haven't updated this fic in over a year :') I'm very surprised that people still have this on their alerts. So how this accident began was…everytime I'd ask leslie if she wanted to write some more…we'd get horribly sidetracked by the others…then she got her own account and in the end we totally forgot about this story. So…I've made a vow to update this whenever I can and try and do a list for every character…though hopefully fanfiction doesn't delete it before I accomplish my goal. Since it's notorious for deleting stuff like this. Oh well ^_^_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. _

Ask her if her boobs are fake, when she doesn't give you an answer, or says no, continue on that if they shatter she can get poisoned and die.

Ask her if the mark on her head is because she is actually a Hindi in disguise

Fry up Ton Ton.

Feed it to Tsunade, then kindly tell her afterwards

Call her a man repeatedly when she uses her strength.

Hide her Sake

Call her Granny

Grab a cane and hunch yourself up and whenever she's nearby alter your voice so that you sound like an old person "I'll show all you whipper shnappers!"

Tell the Casinos that she's a notorious thief and is still at large, watch as she can't get in.

Get a hold of some of her important paper work and change her signature to "Dark lord happy pants." Or "Legendary Sucker."

When you're on your way to the hokage's office sing "We're off to see the wizard…"

Grab her pig tails and scream "Giddy up horsey!"

Send her to alcoholics anonymous or AADAC. (I probably spelt it wrong)

Ask her how old she is, then say "What?! That's old!" even if she says 25 or 30.

ask her "Why?" after everything she says. (I do this to my ex a lot ^_^ it's fun)

Tell Naruto that she'll buy him ramen.

Change the sign on her coat to something like "Boobs." Or "Broccoli." Or "Pork."

Ask her if she's stupid, and when she answers say "Oh I guess you're in denial." When she says "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" say "You're blond."

Die her hair black, and call her a goth.

ask her if she'll audition for Baywatch.

Send her to anger management

Tell her Orochimaru has the hots for her and always has

stage an intervention for all of her addictions, and make sure that Gai is the councilor.

Everytime she gives you an order or mission say "Yes, my master." Or "Yes Darth Sidious."

Ask if her and Shizune are more than just friends.

Sing "Barbie girl" by aqua or "I'm an ugly girl." By Weird Al and tell her its her theme song.

Use her paperwork to cut out a paper man chain and when she gets mad at you start crying.

After she's done saying something say "And how does that make you feel?"

Give her a briefcase of fake money and that the only way you'll give it to her is if she sells her soul to you.

Give her trick dice, that always make her lose.

Challenge her to 'rock paper scissors.' And after a few rounds say "Grenade!" and when she protests, say that's how the pros do it.

Tell her that the Akatsuki want to invite her to a sexy party and that there's booze and gambling involved. Then wait for a few seconds and say "NOT!"

After she says something really serious say "Believe it…Or not…"

When you two spar scream "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"

When she calls for a meeting say "QUICK ROBIN! TO THE BATCAVE!"

Set her up on a blind date with Jiraiya (personally I think they're awesome together)

Call her a Viking, and get her a Viking hat for her birthday

Steal her necklace and when she asks you where it went say "Oh! Yeah I used it to try and find atlantis! But it didn't go so good so I threw it in the garbage."

Challenge her to a game of snakes and ladders and cheat. When she does what you do accuse her of cheating.

Ask her if her Genjutsu is really to disguise what sex she is.

_Well I hope that you guys liked this chapter ^_^ and that it was somewhat good, I hope to get reviews lolz and yeah sorry about that horrible wait/delay/forgetting. Oh yeah this isn't the original list….it's in my room somewhere, I'll probably find it 5 months later and be "Shit!" but yeah haha idk who I'm doing next and when I'm updating…soon though, definitely soon ^_^ review!_

_Sakura Sama 101_


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